Re: ~ Ariane's Journal ~

**Jessyka** Tue Jul 17, 2012 9:31 am

The 16th of July, 2012

It is very, very quiet in Davikov Castle right now... I think I am the only one awake at the moment. Here I am, sitting out in the castle's main hall by the fire and it seems like the entire town is frozen in place. I think that's the thing about BlueAsh. Everything here is petrified, dwelling in something that happened long ago. There's Sal, who I met a few days ago, who dwells on his dislike for vampirics. Then there is Alanya, who I've stopped disliking and started feeling bad for, who dwells on her past relationship with Roman. That makes me think, actually. It makes me wonder what she was before their... "encounter". Would we have been friends, I find myself asking most. There is Dustin who dwells on the power struggle in his own family. And then, it seems, the dwelling has rubbed off onto me, because I have begun to do so with Alabaster.

We go home tonight. I am like a child right now, my level of excitement is so high. I could not sleep last night. I spent most of the evening pacing the castle and reading, trying to get my mind off of the trip. But I couldn't and I found myself asking why Alabaster is so special to me, what does it mean to me? It's more than just the place I was born and the place one side of my family spent many years in. I have spent most of my life elsewhere, so why is it that Alabaster is so... Different? Why does it call me back to it every time I go away?

I think it's the memories. Most of the bigger moments in my life happened there, in Alabaster... My first hunt alone in Ravenwood when I was six, my father sitting me down and trying to teach me how to play the piano when all I wanted to do was bang on the keys, getting into trouble with Cassius and trying not to giggle when mother scolded us... More recently, discovering my fangs, realizing I am not at all a psionic vampire but something completely different. It has me wondering what the next big event in my life will be. A happy one, I hope.

We've got a little group following us back to Alabaster, it seems. Paloma, Sal, Dustin, Alanya, and Cassius. We are flying, I'm told, though I'm not looking forward to sitting next to Roman the entire, lengthy flight trying to calm him down due to his fear. It'll be worth it in the end, I guess.

Speaking of Alanya though, she keeps trying to bite me. She says it's unfair to flaunt my scent around and not offer anything up for it. Apparently that makes me a tease. How on earth am I supposed to control who smells me? Maybe she should just stop breathing and she'll feel better. Roman seems very annoyed by her efforts to sink her fangs into me. I think he's plotting something against her and I'm not quite sure if I like that. Won't it only add fuel to the fire? I met his daughter, Elena, the other day when Alanya brought her out into the hall waving her about like a victory banner. She doesn't look much like him, all brown eyed and blonde haired. It's like she expected me to be jealous, the way she tried to get me to hold the baby. Well, I'm not, though it only adds to the tiny bomb a passing comment of Roman's implanted in my head some few days ago.

There is much packing to be done. The next time I write, it will be in the comfort of my own room.

~A

**Jessyka** Thu Jul 19, 2012 8:25 am

The Nineteenth of July, 2012

Another early morning spent sitting in Ravenwood.
I am home now, obviously, and I can already find myself settling into a new routine. The very outskirts of the forest along Alabaster's borders seems to be my new place to hide away. Call me corny, but it feels funny knowing that only a few feet of land separates me from mortal territory.

The Rossetta have not completely left me alone. That much has become apparent to me in the past twenty-four hours or so; they keep trying to get into my head, different members, elders, people I was once very close with. My mother's been the worst. I've contemplated letting her in for a moment, for I am a little curious as to what it is they want from me this time, but then my logical side chastises me for even considering opening back up. At this point in time, I think I've come to realize that the Rossetta will never completely leave me alone -- I was their leader for nearly half a century, I was born to one of their most famous members, why would a piece of paper saying I've quit stop them from trying to contact me? I think if I'm to ever really rid myself of them, I'll need to have my telepathy revoked, which is something I'm not comfortable with.

Something happened last night.

I'd been in a good mood the entire day. I was officially two weeks fever free, back in my element and my home, I slept very well the night before in my own bed, had a good hunt, and had some time to myself to relax. It all disappeared after an argument with Roman in learning that Kostya (the Davikov Head) is sick and dying. Normally, this wouldn't be a concern of mine, but it's really effecting Roman to the point where he's behaving in a manner that I've never seen before. He says he's scared in this situation. I don't really know how to ease that, so I suppose the best thing for me to do is hang back and offer up advice when asked for it. He had to tell Alanya about her father (it would seem she didn't know his situation herself) and that he was given the spot as heir to the coven and not her. And so, because she is Alanya and has no control over her emotions, she stabbed him. He's healing up now, but it gave me quite the scare...

And because I'm cursed to handle any situation in the worst way possible, I went home with a slight fever and went for a walk around the manor in my sleep. I woke up on the piano bench though; I suppose that's better than the others places I've wandered off to before.

All good things come to an end. Time to suck it up and do what I can to help.

~A

**Jessyka** Sat Jul 21, 2012 10:40 pm

Midnight Entry
The 22nd of July, 2012

And oh god, just when I feel there is some relief, here it is again.
Here it is, the heat. Here it is, starting somewhere in my blood and settling on my skin -- some unwanted, blindingly hot killing frost.
Here it is, and it shuts out all the light and fills my lungs with some horrible, venomous thing that is not remotely air...

Another night like this, where things I do not want to recall, the memories that were erased in Germany, goad at me from the places they ran off to...

Another night spent up with this fever.
Here it is again.

~A

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