~*~ Memoirs of Lord Roman. M. Black ~*~

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~*~ Memoirs of Lord Roman. M. Black ~*~

Post  Herus on Fri Jun 01, 2012 2:20 pm

* A leather bound book, not interesting looking or extra-ordinary. 'The memoirs of Roman Black', lays at the bottom of Romans night-stand, locked by the key that hangs about his neck. (Un-accessible with out the said Key)
The pages are yellowed with age, suggesting the book was made a long time ago. A musty 'old book' kind of smell emanates from the pages.
*
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
' It is time to write down my thoughts. Some of the wisest words where written on pages, along with some of the most beautiful poetry, as well as some of the most damning laws.
May these pages help me work out that is wise, right and most of all meaningfully beautiful to me.


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Re: ~*~ Memoirs of Lord Roman. M. Black ~*~

Post  Herus on Fri Jun 01, 2012 2:38 pm


May 2012
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

' I have had this book in my possession for a long time. It was given to me on my 18th birthday by my Mother. She wished for me to write of my travels. I have never been brave enough to venture into my own mind to give myself the chance to write.
I have been many places, seen many people and it is only Alabaster that has given me the courage to write. I am in need of a place to charter my thoughts, no matter how afraid of them I am.

I arrived in Alabaster incredibly sure of my sense of self, or so I thought... '

*Roman. M. Black


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Re: ~*~ Memoirs of Lord Roman. M. Black ~*~

Post  Herus on Fri Jun 01, 2012 2:45 pm

May 2012
Arrival in Alabaster
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

' My expectations were not high, the last I heard this place was a ruin. I am wrong, it seems that the Rossetta Coven have kept the place tidy.
The tavern is quaint and the woods are welcoming, it is a great deal warmer than Blue-Ash, though I do regret not stopping off in Isadora on my drive here.

I am to stay in Black Manor, there is a room for me, which I was surprised to hear. It is very comfortable, very rustic and cosy.
Not at all like my cold apartment in Blue-Ash. Though the snowy mountains was a simulating view, the woodlands of Alabaster are much more appealing to my senses, even the smell is somewhat aromatic, relaxing almost.

It is apparent that I have a cousin here, how curious...'

*Roman. M. Black


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Re: ~*~ Memoirs of Lord Roman. M. Black ~*~

Post  Herus on Fri Jun 01, 2012 2:58 pm

May 2012
Curiouser and Curiouser
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' I have engaged myself in convocation with this cousin. Ariane I believe her name is. One of the daughters of my Uncle Abel.
It is no surprise to me that she is attractive as she is.
It interests me that she is half sanguine, half psionic. She tells me she feeds like a psionic. I admit she smells like one, not that that is meaningful or unfortunate in any fashion

The drinks at the tavern are pleasing, though it was a disappointment to find there is so little food in the Manor. I understand that Psionics do not eat food produce, but I for one enjoy food. Even if it isn't necessary I eat. I merely consume food for the sheer taste and buzz I get from it.

I have met a few people, Ariane has her horde of people about her, seeing as she is the head its expected.
Her uncle Angelo, and his Fiancée - I didn't catch the woman's name, though she is also rather pretty looking.
Another fellow, another Psionic also the young Addonexus that follows her about like a lost puppy. It's admirable that she keeps him as she does.

The woods are a delight - there is plenty of mortals to hunt.
Speaking of which, I have sired a fledgling. She isn't particularly interesting she merely wants a deeper purpose or something.
There was some apparent upset from a by stander that her first feed was from some mortal youngster.
I have little time for peoples qualms when it comes to mortals... '

*Roman. M. Black


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Re: ~*~ Memoirs of Lord Roman. M. Black ~*~

Post  Herus on Fri Jun 01, 2012 3:03 pm

May 2012
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

'I have had many a convocation with Ariane now. It has been a while since I wrote.
I'm not one for chattering to others, and I have remembered little of the odd meetings with those I have happened to bump into. I
have conversed with the likes of Jack - the Addonexus, and Carrick an apparent friend of Ariane and her bunch. He is fallen I believe, from the large wings protruding from his back.
I mostly sit in silence. Listening...'

*Roman. M. Black


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Re: ~*~ Memoirs of Lord Roman. M. Black ~*~

Post  Herus on Fri Jun 01, 2012 3:07 pm

May 2012
Feeding?
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

'Convocations sometimes grow out of hand when curiosity it let to rear its ugly head and left to run wild.
I fear I shall become addicted to this substance, sweet to the taste and a rush - a release I have never experienced before. '

*Roman. M. Black


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Re: ~*~ Memoirs of Lord Roman. M. Black ~*~

Post  Herus on Fri Jun 01, 2012 3:14 pm

May 2012
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

' My chest is tight and I can barely breath for coughing. My throat burns, as dry as the sand of the desert.
Who knew a thirst could come on so quickly, is this the evil magic of Psionic blood?

I had never realised how intimate that moment of contact was until now. When one isn't intentionally looking for it to be so.
I enjoy it more than I could of possibly imagined...

Nothing much seems to be happening in my days, she seems to take most of my free time. We talk though I still don't know her.
It seems that it is making others around the village uncomfortable. I have been speaking to Jack, now and then, he seems to think something is going on.
A girl - a demoness if I remember correctly. A flirtatious one at that, told me of a rumour...
- It seems this village lives on rumours. Especially about Ariane's love life. I find it rather amusing. Well at least I did until I was a feature of them '

*Roman. M. Black


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Re: ~*~ Memoirs of Lord Roman. M. Black ~*~

Post  Herus on Fri Jun 01, 2012 3:25 pm

May 2012
Thirsty
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'It seems she will be a feature of my writings. Tonight has been eventful to say the least.

The downer that comes with the thirst after having fed from her is unimaginable, almost indescribable.
She insisted once again to help me - by being a Marta and allowing me to feed once again.
I fear something is a foot as our meetings grow more intimate. I ask myself do I care, but then shrug it off as nothing but the thirst driving me, yet I aim to be as gentle as possible with her. I'm sure it must hurt?

We where interrupted in the manor before I could feed.
An elf was thrown through the window, rather too dramatically for my taste. Ariane was at a loss to help her, being that human burns her skin. So even in my weak and thirsty state I carried the girl to the Medical center. The elf was seen to by Rose, Angelo's fiancée.
All was well... though I had put off the chance that I would feed tonight.

Somehow or other, most of the evening seems a blur looking back on it, we found ourselves back in the Medical center.
The thirst was gruleing, and the pain was torturous... but again she yielded.
I had never been so thirsty and yet so fulfilled after a feed. I found myself entangled in a passionate moment... it seems that it has stuck a chord within me.
Our relationship has altered...'

*Roman. M. Black


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Re: ~*~ Memoirs of Lord Roman. M. Black ~*~

Post  Herus on Fri Jun 01, 2012 3:37 pm

June 2012
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

'I am utterly confused and have no way of deciphering what she wants of me, due to the fact she doesn't know.
We are both at a lost and have no map to guild us now. All I know is, there will come a time when I need to feed once more, and she is all but willing to oblige, we have both admitted that we enjoy the rush.
For myself a release, an immense fulfilling experience, and for her - she said it feels like I am draining her of poison.
We have conversed twice about it, each time after out... 'meetings?'
I have gotten little understanding out of them and of how this is going to turn out.

Today the manor became to crowded once more, and her office is not private enough it seems.
I gave up on the notion of feeding and fled to the library for some space, only for her to find me minuets later.
It seems we shared the same thought.
I had reasoned with myself, she was obliging each time and if I wanted it I must go for it.
Without a word I took my chances, the rush was again intense. I had turned a corner with last nights feed and now it was coming into fruition.
I let myself go for once and it felt right....

We stood there, in the library for 2 hours... in each others arms, just talking.
About our lives, our experiences but most of all what we thought was going to happen in the future. She had little to give, apparently she listens to her logical side a lot, and not one to left her instinct sway her, at least not often. Though this didn't inspire confidence within me I have never felt more at ease, when she moved from me I felt cold, yet her scent lingers on me even now... It's comforting

~*~
I have spoken to Angelo, he has just returned from Venice. I only bumped into him when I went to the Med-center for a refill.
I do not know him well but he is a Doctor, he says that the fact her scent irritates my thirst so, and that I now crave her blood so much is 'normal'.
I see there to be nothing 'normal' about it. He had no answer, however, that couldn't explain my feelings, at least not a scientific one.
I do not believe in love... I have never found it before, it has steered clear of me. Until now?'

*Roman. M. Black


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Re: ~*~ Memoirs of Lord Roman. M. Black ~*~

Post  Herus on Sat Jun 02, 2012 5:49 am

June 2012
A peace of mind
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

' It is early, the sun has just begun to rise over the tree-line. It's orange hue stretches in a cresant formation, across the sky, leaking upward into the vast blue canvas.
I am well rested, sleep seems to have brought me some peace of mind. I find that showers also aid my thinking, perhaps I shall take one and see if any new thoughts came to mind...

It has occurred to me, having read my previous entries, that this infatuation with blood is merely 'Normal' as Angelo stated.
I am to put it from my mind as it has no greater meaning -- other than 'Blood lust'.
Ha, looking back on yesterday I was such a fool, how embarrassed. It seems I can only correct myself with my current actions.

Striving to 'get to know' some more people might not go a miss. There are a few acquaintants I should like to converse with more, to form a fuller opinion of them...
That is all for this morning, I shall no doubt write later. I am getting the hang of this writing'

*Roman. M. Black


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Re: ~*~ Memoirs of Lord Roman. M. Black ~*~

Post  Herus on Sun Jun 03, 2012 6:34 am

June 2012
Playing things by ear?
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

'I have woken at a reasonable time this morning, though my thirst is hindering me.

I only fed a little yesterday, it was actually rather experimental. I remained rather distant through the whole thing... I admit it wasn't as invigorating as it had been previous times. I invited Ariane to discuss a few things with me, she also got her chance to look about the cabin. She seemed to like it - though that wasn't really why I had asked her over.

I just wanted to clear the air, and put my mind at ease, convincing myself things were fine as they were wasn't 'working for me'. It was much easier to ask - uncomfortable as it was for her.
Need-less to say I think we both got the hang of where we were going after-ward.

A weight had been lifted off my shoulders, daily I would have to feed; I didn't want to over step any lines and upset her unintentionally.
It seems there are no lines I need to fear...

'Playing things by ear', it sounds rather daunting at first as it gives no sense of direction at all.
Though it actually comforts me more. I have somewhat of a free reign.
Altogether it up me in rather a good mood.

~*~

We went our separate ways only to bump into each other again later.
I arrived at the manor, and as soon as I came Jack disappeared, Odd. I feel a little guilty for leaving him now, had I known what would happen to him... more of that later.
Ariane looked thirsty, so I dragged her out into the forest, she complied of course- I think she may have been intrigued by my mood. I admit it is one I do not show often.
The water of the lake looked rather appealing in that moment, so I took off for a swim while she hunted. I eventually got her to come in with me - via ambush...

We laid out drying on the bank for a good while, the evening was rather warm. Talking backward and forth as always...
Something that had never happened before, happened.
Playing things by ear seems to have given her a new trust in me, or perhaps in herself. It was refreshing to see her 'care-less' about our interactions.
But less of that. On ward and up ward.

We came back to the manor to find Jack injured - my reason for the guilt. In our time alone, together, away from the manor he had come to his death... He is fine now as far as I know, he is up and walking about.
I am still unclear of what actually happened though he was in a bloody state when we found him.

Things are changing... I am intrigued as to what will occur next

*Roman. M. Black


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Re: ~*~ Memoirs of Lord Roman. M. Black ~*~

Post  Herus on Mon Jun 04, 2012 9:24 am

June 2012
Burning
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

'Things always seem to get in the way, maybe it is a sign. Or maybe I am reading into things - I secretly hope that is the case.

I spent some time with a new acquaintance today - Viola. I believe she is a Sevtocha, how very interesting.
She seemed to have rather a lot of questions about myself, to which she gave answers to mostly herself; needless to say she is very assumptive. I am not sure if it's a quality I fancy, though it was rather amusing at the time.
Hm, overall she was rather 'nice', for lack of a better word. The convocation, though dry in spots - on my behalf was, well, 'interesting'. Again words escape me...

~*~
I find myself having a strong dislike toward Angelo...
Perhaps I am a hypocrite. I also take blood from her, but at least she... likes it? At least isn't it 'medical'.
I'm considering talking to her about it.

Sleep is the only relief from thirst other than feeding, I found myself doing a lot of it yesterday.
Playing it by ear; further down the rabbit hole we go....

*Roman. M. Black


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Re: ~*~ Memoirs of Lord Roman. M. Black ~*~

Post  Herus on Wed Jun 06, 2012 8:23 am

June 2012
Typical
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

'The house is nearly done, obviously all the structural work finished a few days ago and I have since been moving in furniture etc.
It is odd standing in a house which it completely mine.
I helped the architect plan it, I watched it being built and I am now living in it.
Its a wonderful sensation, I can do as I please here without people watching over me...

~*~
Alas something always manages to spoil my mood.

I got a call from Alanya late last night, I guess she didn't figure the time difference.
She says she misses me... Seriously?
Go figure, I don't understand that women, she hates me and loves me at the same time. I am just glad to be away from her.

Firstly she informs me that Coline is close to her due date. ~Wonderful!~ It's like she expects me to be pleased.
'You're going to be a father again' She says. She knows how I feel about the whole 'incident'.
Coline as has 'Convinced' her to take the child as her own, Alanya has this crazy idea that I will go back to Blue-Ash and raise it with her... I cannot fathom her thought process.

I was just beginning to become happy here and then this...

Hm the reason I am wanted back in Blue-Ash though it apparently /not/ the baby. (Which I don't even feel is mine, it wasn't planed, I wasn't even coherent at the time of its conception... but lets not wander onto the subject of rape)
A small clan we do business with has started making trouble across the Belarus border.
I am wanted to head the mission and go 'finish' it.
I guess I am thinking about going back, it would be nice to have some work to do again. I feel rather useless in Alabaster in that sense, but at home - in another.
Flip-flopping is an option?

I was talking to Ariane again yesterday. The subject of my work came up, along with other miscellaneous things.
She offered to fund me while I build my own clan, as sweet as the sentiment was - it's unthinkable.
She is more than a friend to me now. (I suprised myself when I even started thinking of her as a friend, after such a short period of time) People around the village are suspecting things, Ariane hates it when people talk about her, she has had to put up with that a lot through life, I think.
She is particularly annoyed at Carrick for making crude assumptions.
When I was talking to him the subject of Sex came up - shallow that he assumed that first, but of course nothing of the sort has happened between us.

~*~

I was in the manor last night, on my way out she asked me not to leave, so I jokingly suggested she come with me... which she did.
She is still here in fact. We laid on my couch for most of the night, where we fell asleep.
About an hour ago I thought I sensed I was about to 'wake up', so here I am at my desk writing.
I think she is still sleeping. hmm I find I am dozing off again, time for more sleep it seem. I shall go back to her now.'

*Roman. M. Black


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Re: ~*~ Memoirs of Lord Roman. M. Black ~*~

Post  Herus on Thu Jun 07, 2012 7:36 am

June 2012
Mistake?
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

'Good Morning journal. I have just got home, I thought I had better write.

For lack of a better word I have been somewhat brave today, bold even.
I bit Riane, not for any reason other than she was curious, it wasn't all that exciting.
Her blood was somewhat tasteless. Though given I haven't been feeding from Mortals of late, I have no doubt that that is the reason. Apparently I have upset her god-mother, she tried to waste my time with a petty threat, a rather empty one as well.

~*~

I spent the evening with Ariane again.
My secrets are out, Im not sure how I feel about it - though I trust her not to tell anyone of my swarded past.

I was feeling tired as it was, and so I thought better now than never, she helped me drop off into a sleep by taking some of my energy. I obviously don't remember the incident, but I gather he told her enough to give her questions to ask. I am curious about him, I shall have to ask her in more depth about him sometime later.

At least I now know his name: Toulouse...
I harsh realisation came to me at the utterance of that name. I had never figured out when my break was and now it is all clear. I feel relived though as though I have lost a part of my life. well be it - it was the most pleasant part of my life but still, it is now lost.
The man I spent most of my time with while I was living in Isadora was in fact a figment of my imagination. He was Me.
An aloof French man... who found himself oddly on the streets... Perhaps he a portrayal of what I would have been had I stayed at home. I will keep mulling things over.

Now she knows about the drugs, the gambling and everything else... the detox, the coma...
I feel a sense of relief, I do not need to hide things any-more.

~*~

We are taking baby-steps yet we are always moving forward, last night was no different.
I stopped myself, now is not the time to let the rumours get to our heads, the idea that if they think it we might as well.


*Roman. M. Black


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Re: ~*~ Memoirs of Lord Roman. M. Black ~*~

Post  Herus on Fri Jun 08, 2012 12:18 pm

June 2012
baby steps?
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

'Taking baby-steps... Children grow and does the distance they venture.
What is the measure of a man?
Is how far he has been?
If he will go further?
What he had done before, or what he plans to do in the future?


I promised myself I wouldn't think too deeply about it and just take it as it was. Which was great... but I can't get it out of my head.
Corny? I find my self philosophizing. Was it right, it felt it. Was is wrong? but some peoples morals probably.
Why am I thinking about it NOW, of all times.
I need to get out, I'm going to the tavern. '


*Roman. M. Black
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Re: ~*~ Memoirs of Lord Roman. M. Black ~*~

Post  Herus on Sat Jun 09, 2012 12:31 pm

June 2012
Music & Lyrics
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'I have been going through old boxes of my belongings that have been tucked away in my closet in Blue-Ash for years...
Old books, my first journal, CD's and even things spanning back as far as my first few months in Russia.
These things remind me of times in my life that I wouldn't go back to live again if I had a choice. I am much happier here, even if there is a slight tension in the air every-time I look at her, this hiding is driving my insane, though its exhilarating at the same time.
I hope in time the truth will out and this hiding will all come to pass...

Angelo and Rose are getting married today, Ariane is going to the ceremony.
Though I like neither of them; apart, or as a couple. They have brought the thought of finding someone to mind; my view on commitment is altering. For better or for worse? I have no idea.
(I have been listening to music, it brought back memories and I found new meanings in casual lyrics.)
Part of me wants to wake up, back in Blue-Ash and realise this was a dream. I yearn for the norm I am used to
The other part, longs to stay this way - where everything seems perfect, almost at least.
I am tormented when ever I am alone in my thoughts.

~*~
Made a new friend is seems: Khanate. He worked on the cabin with me, though he was only an acquaintance until now.
It's good to have a guy to talk to, he is pretty deep himself - a lycan as comical as that might sound.
I miss Rico' and sometimes Alanya... just sometimes - I guess the first few months with her were a happy time, even if at the time I thought nothing of it.
I have told her to not expect me back home, she seemed to be het-up about that though I cannot fathom why.
I have said before, one day she hates me the next she's madly in love all over again.
She is taking the Baby from Coline when she gives birth, she is only doing it because it will be a part of me, twisted in its logic if you think about it.
I'm terrified. I don't want to be a father...again'

*Roman. M. Black

'The weightlessness and the lack of rest
away from you; I'm in over my head.
Even when it's dark before the dawn
I will feel your grace and carry on
And with every breath of me,
You'll be the only light I see


When I needed a place to hang my heart
You were there to wear it from the start
And with every breath of me,
You'll be the only light I see
'
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Re: ~*~ Memoirs of Lord Roman. M. Black ~*~

Post  Herus on Mon Jun 11, 2012 8:01 am

June 2012
Something to make me think...
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

' I haven't written in 2 days now, I guess there wasn't much so say. Things have been moving along 'smoothly'.

- I 've informed Alanya I wont be back in Blue-Ash any time soon

- The baby was born yesterday, apparently she is healthy and no in Alanya's care (A name has yet to be chosen, from what I gathered over the short answer phone message, I woke up to yesterday)

- My pills have stopped working it seems. I have a constant headache from the incessant speaking in my head.
Ariane has refereed me to Angelo, according to him its rather manageable. I should have gone to a Dr. long ago about this. Self medicating is no the way to go.

~*~

I made a rather idiotic mistake yesterday, and made a scene.
I took some sleeping pills to hopefully block out he voices for a while; sleep always seemed to bring relief. It seems that due to my thirst they kicked in a little fast then I had hoped. I thought I would at lest make it into the bed room from my office. I didn't even make it to the lounge - I collapsed in my doorway.
I have no idea how long I was there unconscious but apparently my breathing and heart rate had slowed considerably.
Ariane must have come over to see me, she was the one who found me (NO surprise there).
Angelo was called and he had to 'jump start me', so as I would wake up.

He and I had a long talk about things that had been on my mind. He explained things about Ariane I guess I never would have known - she has been hiding things from me, that or I didn't ask the right questions.
I never realised she was so ill, not that it will make a difference to how I see her, other than I know hold her more precious.

It got me to thinking, should I leave no so she can have a happy life without the troubles I bring.
Or
stay like Angelo suggested, and make what time she has left memorable.
It's a choice she will have to help me make, I don't want to leave her high and dry like some others in her life, but I also don't want to ruin a part of her life she wont get back...'

*Roman. M. Black
In deep thought...


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Re: ~*~ Memoirs of Lord Roman. M. Black ~*~

Post  Herus on Tue Jun 12, 2012 12:35 pm

June 2012
Change my mind only to know its pointless...
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________


'~ The wedding, made me think about maybe I would like to in the future.
Not saying I would, but I guess I am more open to it.

~The baby, made me think about maybe planning to have children again in the future.
Again, not saying I would but I'm open to the idea of it.

I am tired, over tired in fact...

Alanya called, she has taken the baby from Coline. Apparently she is adopting, I fear she is going to use the child as leverage to get me back.
I don't even care enough to dislike her any-more, I'm indifferent.

~*~

People assume they know me because of what they see on a daily basis.
My outer appearance and façade is not ME.

The girls on the park apparently gossip about me, they find me attractive and mysterious so I am told...
How cliché...
Anyhow, now Cress is assuming that because I look like I am 'sulking' all the time - I am unhappy.
That I am jaded because I see Blue-Ash as me home.

She is rather assumptive and obnoxious about her points of view on myself... she lacks incite.
So she says; she has been to Blue-As once... just once, and hated it.I doubt she actually saw the true Blue-Ash, few tourists do.
Perhaps it is why it isn't a holiday hot-spot. I highly doubt one can form a true opinion only having been once and seen nothing of great importance or influence. I agree Blue-Ash is rather dull, cold and boring on the surface.
Apparently living in a secluded culture is not the way to be- according to Cress... like I said lacking in incite.

And so what is the underground activities are 'sometimes shady', and so what if I AM 'jaded'.
It doesn't make me unhappy.
No doubt Alabaster has altered me and perhaps for the better, though I am not constantly miserable.
I am introvert, I admit, though she was easy enough to talk to even as assumptive a she was.

... If she is remotely interested in talking to me, knowing me at all - she needs to stop assuming that the gawking females in the part, the great gossiping observers are correct.
Otherwise, I shan't speak at all.

~*~

Ariane collapsed yesterday... no one told me.
Should I really feel so put out?'

*Roman. M. Black


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Re: ~*~ Memoirs of Lord Roman. M. Black ~*~

Post  Herus on Fri Jun 22, 2012 8:02 am

June 2012
First Entry since before the Plague Lock-down
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

'I had forgotten where I had put this little book, I had visions I had left it at the cabin.
But no it was in the library, my usual hiding place - odd that I decided to look for it on the off chance I would come across it.

~*~
The plague has taken the village and we have been put into Lock-down. No one is allowed out side, it has been like this for a good few months now and I feel I am going just as insane as everyone else... I walk past a door and could swear I feel a breeze on the back on my neck.

I have been living on the 3rd floor of the manor again, its so still... I long to feel the wind and the scents that come with it to fill my lungs once again.

I am so thirsty, once couldn't imagine, the dryness and the burning has past, it now reside to a dull relentless ache in the pit of my stomach, a true empty feeling. A revert back to my most human hunger my body is crying out for nourishment. My eyes are blacker than ever, they no longer reflect the light, but suck it in. My skin is dry and pale... I look truly ghastly.
My only excuse and motivation, if that now isn't the time to be chasing after Ariane's neck.
She cannot feed even as well as I, now shouldn't be the time to rely on her, to make her insist that I feed because of the guilt and pain she sees in me in my early hours of thirst.
I stayed away from her, locked myself on the 3rd floor for the first few days of the Lock-down, it gave me time to suffer in silence because I could manage to walk about again.

I found myself bedridden, writhing in agony... It reminded me of the many other times I have been starved as punishment.
Though now having fed from Psionic blood the sensation is different. Its harder than I had imagined....

Continuing to fight the thirst.'

*Roman. M. Black


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Re: ~*~ Memoirs of Lord Roman. M. Black ~*~

Post  Herus on Fri Jun 22, 2012 9:02 am

June 2012
Talk of Venice.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

' Ariane has received a letter from her Mother, Valentina. Requesting that she visit Venice when she can.
She doesn't want to go alone, though nor does she want to go with her Uncle... She has asked me to go with her.

I am less than sure this is a good idea, I now wish I hadn't persuaded her a trip was a good idea.
Angelo strolled into Library when I was there, looking for this old thing... He was also mortified that I had persuaded her to take this trip, though I do not agree with this illusion that Ariane will never be safe anywhere other than Alabaster.

On the one hand, he didn't seem to mind my going - though he forewarned me to stay away from Valentina.
For a reason he would not disclose, I assumed from what he has said that she is over protective and wouldn't be too pleased that I would arrive with Ariane. After all if she is a smart women, which I have no doubt of, she might soon figure out I am not /just/ a friend of her daughters, and god forbid that she find out I am a Black...

To cut a long story short, some time after writing my last entry I fell asleep, only to be woken as my breathing stirred this journal so much as to dislodge if from its place over my chest, it went tumbling to the floor with a noise that woke me.
Ariane was there... I think she had been there longer than she admitted, her scent was about me, though I now put it down to the fact that she is usually close, it often clings to my clothes for some time after.
- She assures me that her Mother wont think anything of my going with her, that she is in fact the least judgemental... and that she needn't know my name. I am merely to be 'Roman of BlueAsh' if formalities are required.
I have no doubt that a Black is the last thing she wants to find with her daughter... I don't blame her... her husband was not a man I would consider a Role-model - only having met him briefly before his execution.

Angelo is the first born son, his birth right is the Head of the Coven, however his sister Valentina was favoured amongst the Elders and so it was granted to her. I understand that Angelo feels cheated, but I had expected him to be more mature about the situation and not 'suade me that his sister in fact a monster... a python...
He sometimes takes his frustrations out on Ariane... he also seems somewhat obsessed by her - it's odd I give you but I do not think of it too often, and of course I do not mean in a intimate manner. But, there /is something/ I cannot put my finger on. Time and reasoning might bring it to mind.

It seems that I shall now be taking the trip near the end of the month, plenty of time to have things in order.
I feel more inclined to go if only to decipher Valentina's true nature... I have been advice NOT to meet her, which only makes me more curious. Let's hope she is not an analyst like myself, she just might discover my name, with a few educated guess'.
Most people know who I am instantly... anyone who has met a black knows, 'The smell, the eyes, the hair and the tanned skin... even the persona - (that I hate that I carry yet it is a trait one I cannot escape,) and the sickness... every essence of my being seems to disclose who I am even before I have had a chance to introduce myself'.
Ariane doesn't see it, I fear she never really knew her father well enough to see it in me. Perhaps our families are meant to weave together, maybe in some greater plan?'


*Roman. M. Black


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Re: ~*~ Memoirs of Lord Roman. M. Black ~*~

Post  Herus on Fri Jun 22, 2012 9:14 am

June 2012
Faith amongst other things..
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

'I have done it again... spoken my mind without mincing my meaning...
I have told Ariane I want more. More? what is more exactly, Roman?

(Warily I shall put this to page, beware if you read)

*Family
Children?
Marriage?


These are not the things I have ever foresaw in my life.
I already have children, I thin I should like more, though I should like to plan them this time.
Marriage however is an outright - NO, never.
A piece of paper, worthless in value that ties me to someone else legally? What is law when love is involved, it truly isn't rational.
Within the animal kingdom, creatures do not marry, nor shall I. Some choose monogamy that I am sway towards, oddly.
It seems to fit more and more with what I now want from my last years.

Faith?
I am starting to think about a higher plan, is there any meaning to my life other than I was I give it?
I am not a Christian by any means, and nor to I believe in the Neo-Christian God.
Organised religion is not for me... but I feel something, there /must be/ something...

Having said this, I feel drawn to the church. The Chapel in the Château is where I spent many Sunday mornings when I was a boy. Though the worship songs and homage to Saint Mary and Jesus has never scared me or held any curiosity... church for me is a place of peace. In my turmoil before leaving on my travels that lead me to Isadora, I spent hours there, thinking.
Talking to what ever might be out there.
The church is quite, and is of course a place for quiet contemplation. I shall visit the village chapel when this plague is over....'


*Roman. M. Black
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Re: ~*~ Memoirs of Lord Roman. M. Black ~*~

Post  Herus on Sun Jun 24, 2012 3:46 pm

Can you believe it's /still/ June....
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

' Still June... although it started off badly as far as the whether goes, I look out of the window now to sunshine.
Ironic isn't it, poetically so.
When we aren't allowed outside the heavens see's it fit to light up and bestow sunlight on the village, and yet but 3 weeks ago, rain rain rain... and more rain.

The lock down is trying my patients. I hope to what ever 'god' there is up there it is over soon.
For the obvious reasons of wanting to be outside. In the blasted sunshine.

~*~
I think I may begin to write more than a journal. I have found I enjoy it.
Though I think I might venture into 'faction', I read books, fictional books -Yes, but I do not feel ready to go down that road and see where my imagination takes me.
I think that perhaps a biography or something of the sort, perhaps in a narrative?
I shall see....
Just a thought'

*Roman. M. Black
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Re: ~*~ Memoirs of Lord Roman. M. Black ~*~

Post  Herus on Wed Jun 27, 2012 6:51 am

June 2012
Waiting
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

'The last few days have been haunting to say the least.
The lounge in the manor turned into what seemed to be a waiting room - a room that held a 'wait' that seemed eternal.

I have no reason to be so het-up over her illness, but somehow I couldn't leave the manor for knowing she was laying up there.
Sedated as she was, I her scent had altered as it usually does when she is in pain... I knew once it had gone back to it's usual indescribable state - yet 'normal' for her - I could leave.

I spent time pondering over why I was so compelled to stay - but my logical mind gave me no relief nor reason... Sometimes Logic isn't everything huh. It isn't often it seems absent from my mind, though when it does it's usually for only one reason. Dare I say it? Perhaps another entry....

The Lock down passed a day or two ago, and though people had wandered through the manor smelling of the elusive summer that had finally bestowed its self upon the village, a herd of wild horses wouldn't have moved me from that couch.
I haven't slept, nor fed. It can wait for now.'

*Roman. M. Black

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Re: ~*~ Memoirs of Lord Roman. M. Black ~*~

Post  Herus on Wed Jun 27, 2012 7:03 am

June 2012
The Sun
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The Scent has changed - I am off outside.
~*~

For the first time in a month or so I am outside. No more rain as I last remember, no more darkness.
The Sun!
Her face graces the sky, the clouds have held back their cover- honourably - for the meantime. She has returned to us.

After having been inside for so long, ones eyes adjust to the constancy of artificial light; be is electric lamps, gas lamps or candles.
I feel I should invest in sunglasses' to cope with the brightness of the outdoors. As pleasant as the piercing rays are they are a nemesis to my eyes. In their thirst, they transform into this darker shade (Which any other time causes me any discomfort other than the warning I am thirsty); tends to draw in the light, which in turn blinds me for a short period.

~*~
Alas I lay back in this deck chair soaking up the sun, my shirt lays on the grass as my side. The sun warms my chest most pleasantly, not that I have need for a tan, I merely enjoy basking as I have little chance back home in snowy Blue-ash

Speaking of other places I wonder if Ariane will call off the trip to Venice, due to her illness?

*Roman. M. Black

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Re: ~*~ Memoirs of Lord Roman. M. Black ~*~

Post  Herus on Wed Jun 27, 2012 7:24 am

June 27th
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

'Only half an hour after my last entry something worth writing about occurred -

Ariane came out into the garden, though she looked ill and somewhat frail - the sun-glow suites her well, it seems to reflect of her light sin in such a way - in perhaps a way she doesn't realise.
She has the notion that she looks lack-luster in the midst of people sun-kissed skin tones, this is not at all the case. Indeed she stands out, but only due to the fact that her skin as pale acts as a mirror to the suns rays - upon contact they emit back from her.
It is beautiful.

(Odd as I flick back through my journal I have never disclosed how I think of her, lest not in a physical way.)

As my eyes set on her, she appeared feeble; almost daintier than usual - as if it were at all possible for her to be any tinier.
She is doll-like... though I am not a tall man and I have never considered myself to be of a stocky build she is even belittled by my own frame - now, more so.
Her skin is perhaps peaky looking, though she couldn't possibly be paler without being utterly ghostlike... yes that is the word, ghostlike, almost transparent.
Though I am sure these are only signs of how much her illness has taken out of her - causing her whole appearance to become fatigued - it was her eyes I yearned to see the most, and they had no changed.
Whether they are of a thirsty green complexion or her usual exhilerant violet shade , I still wished to stare into them.

They came to me green, thirsting as I had expected.
Though I was thirsty myself, I couldn't take anything from her as she was, instead I invited her to feed.

As far as that is concerned she is still fledgling-like. Ravenous and excitable - it is rather attractive. She is so well composed is almost every other thing she does, it is fulfilling to see her 'let go' on inhibition. It's gratifying not only to her but myself, I have always been one for biting, intimately or otherwise to feed.
I am elated that she has found her fangs.'


*Roman. M. Black


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