Re: ~*~ Memoirs of Lord Roman. M. Black ~*~

Herus Tue Jul 03, 2012 7:46 am

Sunday, July 1st 2012
Venusian distress!
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'Venice has been a total disaster to say the leas, so far.

I met one of the Lady Rossetta's, Valentina... I can honestly say her insanity shows and I see why Ariane is somewhat afraid of her she has a rather disturbing presence. I myself am as always unsettled as it is in new places, but she did not make me feel at all welcome, though I guess that's down to the fact she instantly identified me as 'a Black'... miserable...

Apparently she knows /all/ about me. I expected her to know some things, everyone does... especially if they already know my name without need of a formal introduction.

We shall see what all she knows, I am sure she's dying to tell me. She is one for games... I hate loosing and this is definitely a loosing battle.
All one can do is remain calm, I mean what is the worst that could happen?'

*Roman. M. Black

Herus Fri Jul 06, 2012 8:37 am

Friday July 6th 2012
Almost a week without writing
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' It's cold out and the snow is surprisingly heavy for this time of year. The winds are keeping most people inside and the village is silent except the tune the gales make as they howl through the trees. No rain, so no ice, at least that is a plus.
I think I shall make it up onto the roof later, I need some air, the castle is warm - thank god, but sometimes it just gets a little to hot, and stuffy.

I s'pose you are curious as to why I am mentioning snow... being that my last entry was whilst we were in Venice.

Needless to say, we are no longer in Venice. Valentina proved through only a few convocations that he is void of all sane thought, and has let her insanity take hold of her. She is tainted, twisted with wickedness. She revealed that she had planed to 'do something' to Ariane. I didn't feel much like staying to find out. Apparently she seems to think that Ariane is not perfect - surely a mother ought to think her child is at least close, but no she feels no love who she truly is, just what she wished to make her.

My feelings have grown stronger... a while ago perhaps I wouldn't have been so rash and reasoned with myself to leave and let her endure the torture. No, instead we frantically packed our things and left. For Blue Ash...

So there is my reason for all the talk of snow, we are currently in Blue Ash, my home. Davikov Castle.
Our arrival was a surprise to everyone and Ariane still seems uncomfortable here. But as she has said to me, 'it isn't the worst place we could be'.
I braved a plane-flight, I am sure as well as Valentina knows me she is aware I have a fear of planes. That is of course exactly why we took one and not a convenient train. They would have caught up with us before we got to Russia if we had taken the train, a plane is much faster. The location? Well the Rossetta might think Isadora an obvious choice, it is closer and easier to get to. The reason I didn't choose there is the same as taking the train - they would have found us, and that is the least thing we want. So Blue-Ash the Rossetta has no president in Russia and they will not get through the walls of the village, or even up the mountain on which the village sits. We are safe here, I aim to keep her safe.

~*~
What can I say? The last few days have been hectic.

We had not been in the castle but 10 minuets and Ariane had the misfortune to meet Alanya...
She is bitter as ever, and still trying to convince me I am in love with her... ridiculous. I have no comment on the subject, its simply infuriating.
I know where my heart lies and it is /not/ with her.
She taunts Ariane continuously and yet does not have the courage to admit her blatant jealousy. Childish name calling, such as Dead Girl, and Skeleton... Honestly? I ask you, how does even think I could find that possibly attractive so counter productive. She really doesn't play a smart game.

~*~
It would appear that we also have someone else to watch out for.
After so many years of absence from her life, Cassius - Ariane's brother shows up at the Castle.
I have no grudge I do not know the man, though he is also my cousin. It appears that we shall have to keep our true relationship from him. For now, I have no doubt he will discover us.

But for now - I should like to talk with him again, after all he is my cousin. We might just have more than two things in common. More than our illness and our name...'

*Roman. M. Black

Herus Tue Jul 17, 2012 7:02 am

Monday 16th July, 2012
10 days?
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' I now realise why I never had a journal before I moved to Alabaster...
There is NOTHING I can or am allowed to write about, at least not in my opinion.

I guess I could note down the details of Ariane and myself's fumbles, but that is somewhat distasteful.
Then again I could write down my 10 daily annoyances - (9 of them being Alanya's comments and the
10th is always either my head of my thirst) but I guess that could also get tiresome.

I have been in Blue-Ash around 10 days, and I haven't written much of anything.

~*~

This morning I had a meeting with 'my father'...
Kostya has agreed that I might as well head back to Alabaster, it has since become my home, rather than Blue-Ash and he surprisingly holds no bitterness towards that fact. He always puts my mind at ease... he really is nothing like his daughter and I am glad of it. We both sit and roll our eyes at her, at least he holds no grudge against my using her some 10-15 years ago. He seems to agree that some women are only useful as trinkets... as was his late wife - Alanya's mother.

So as any kind father he has brought our tickets....
For Ariane and myself, we had a small talk about her. I didn't realise that he had been keeping watch in the hall. He spotted her wandering around the other day and he agree's she has a rather delicate beauty. I have never been able to put my finger on what I see in her until now.
He always knows my inner thoughts, even without asking. It is quite remarkable.

As for the tickets- I told him that he might as well use my funds (he is the keeper of all of my earnings - due to my bad relations with my money) but he has insisted that he must pay for them, that I am to think of it as a favour in thanks for my coming back home.
He has made a promise to me, a promise which he has mentioned before but this morning he made it 'official'
It should have comforted me, he has given me this 'gift' as a show of his love for me as a 'son' but it has only brought me to fear that we both know that this might be our last meeting, he is not a sickly man, but he has grown tired of his rule and I am sure that he will come to pass within the next few weeks at his own will.
I have never felt so much emotion in a goodbye, this was more than a see you later... this was truly a goodbye, he doesn't intend to see me again. I am trying to hard to hold this raw pain I feel within me, but it seems that Alanya noticed my 'bad mood'. If only she knew...

*I am not ready for him to leave me, I need him... I have so much further to go, I don't want to do it alone...
For the first time, I am scared of what is to come. I will not be able to write to him, or come visit him any-more, to as him questions or just to talk, he always 'fixes' things for me. I am reliant on him, more than he realises.
He is the one that 'got me better'... I fear I may wander down that path again without him there to guide me.

Alanya is planning on following us to Alabaster, god knows why... maybe she is bored of this cold isolated place.
God forbid is it ME again... or even to come and pester Ariane. Ha! Ariane owns Alabaster there is little she can do there without a justified retaliation from Ariane, this will certainly be amusing. Although I am NOT FOR their bickering and 'cat fights'
It's flattering that there is a constant battle for me, but it soon lost its novelty. Now its a headache, I wish they could and would leave each other alone.

I'm not sure that Alanya is close to her father as I am, but I still hope that she gets a chance to say her goodbyes before she comes to Alabaster... I wouldn't wish this pain, on anyone, not even her.
On the other hand, I wonder - Does she feel pain? at all?

Tomorrow we head out...
Another god-damn plane, I feel ready to vomit already. At least (I HOPE) Alanya wont figure that out.
She knows my hate of flying, I think she thinks I am to selfish to punish myself to that extent to evade her and get Ariane out of her way.

*Roman. M. Black

Herus Sat Jul 21, 2012 10:13 am

Saturday 21st July 2012
Alanya....
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' I am writing less often than usual, I have other things on my mind.
Odd that I didn't think that writing them down might aid me, until now.

So many things have been going on, or at least it feel like it. Wounds always leave me tired.
I guess I ought to start by explaining that last statement.
(Why does one write a journal as thought someone is reading it, when the point is to keep it hidden?
I have often pondered on that...)

~~~

I have told Alanya of her fathers imminent death, as I had thought she didn't take it too well.
She is too much of a Diva for me to handle sometimes, she 'flew off the handle'... I think that is the phrase.
(I have been speaking English for as long as I can remember, but sometimes their phrases escape me, much different to French or Russian 'slang')
I don't see why Alanya even cares for her fathers death, she never went to his bedside, or his office when he was in his health... and yet she insists that all of her 'work' was done to impress him. Seems she fell short... though /That/ doesn't surprise me.

I always think I hate her too much to pity her, but now as I sit here, I realise my feelings towards her flutter, frequently.
~ Sometimes I wish she would come to me, the same as she once was when we were 'friends', not that I feel I could love her. It has also come to me that what I felt for her, what I thought /was love/ for that short time - wasn't. It was a mere fancy, for what I have felt since.

~ Other times, I hate her beyond resolve, and I wish her dead. I would do it myself even in those times....
They are very fleeting though, only in the moments after our meetings, merely the resonance of the sting of our crossed words or actions.

~ Pity... That is what I feel most often, and yet if I ever tired to empathise she would call me out on it, and accuse me of plotting something against her.
I guess I cannot truly empathise anyhow, she has been through a great deal more than I. In some senses.
She is sort-of attractive, but her bitterness has twisted her so that no man dare go near her.
She trusts no one.
Her father has turned his back of her from the moment of her birth. He wished for a boy so I am told and her mother was only chosen as she had bore sons before. She was a common whore, the tale has it... and she was 'disposed of' after her failure to produce an heir.
There are so many reasons I pity her, although not for how she lost me... that was her doing, whether she denies it or not.

~~~
I have no yet explained why I mentioned - 'Wounds'

Alanya struck my with her blade, the word seems to have travelled about the village like wildfire. Amusing...
A slash across me stomach, she let the blade drop to joust my foot - I believe a bone broke...
Never-mind though, I am healed. Psionic blood can do that to you...

As for what I am to do now, god knows...
I shall stay away from her as much as I can until the news of 'my fathers' passing comes to me. I shall go back to Blue-Ash, briefly, for the funeral and to collect my inheritance.
Though I have already started my acts as Head of the Coven. I have assigned 1,500 troops to Cassius, a gift to aid his battle with the Rossetta. A smart move on my part so I am informed by my proud Kostya. Though it was an entirely selfish motive, I think it just may work...
The Obsidian are sure to win, so that is all my Ariane's family troubles out of the way. I wish her no strife, and in helping her dear brother, my cousin, I could insist on his blessing for us both.

My mind has changed a lot of late, about certain things I want in life.
I do believe its called settling down.
I wonder why the men of my family strive so hard to steer clear from a settled life, all of them have found themselves a women eventually whom has changed their mind, if I hadn't of bothered with my roaming, I might have found mine sooner. After all I am 124... I don't plan on making 201...

~~~

Talk of the Siege Night Ball is whispered about the village, its rather intriguing, seeing as the entrance hasn't even appeared in the forest yet.
The legend goes that a ball room was built within the forest, an elven glamour was set upon it so that its entrance would only appear, every-time a festive holiday was nigh.
I'm sure the whispers will turn into great news once the entrance is revealed.
I am rather excited myself. I am not one for formalities, dress of dancing... but I have made plans for this ball...

Ariane and I have been talking about the future, maybe this Ball will be quite the night we remember.

*Roman. M. Black

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